Tuesday, Mar. 27, 2007
1:33 am

you know how it is - the frustration and anxiety that kills you when you've lost something really important to you
versus the very much relief of the heart when you find it

hello you little round yellow thing,
you nearly gave me a heart attack
no more bringing you out for shopping trips or making you part of my handbag family unless ive decided to bring you out on my wrist

it was thundering at six.am and i couldnt sleep cos there are lightning streaks at every corner of my room
his messages coaxed me to bed

went to town to have dinner with Shiru
i busted 78.90$ on retail therapy and didnt make it in time to buy the boards i was supposed to get! wts
i was so annoyed :/
and ArtFriend's closed tmr for stock-taking so i have to get it on wed along with all the stuff for printing

my gosh i foresee an extremely stressful week

Razzle // dAzzle

Monday, Mar. 26, 2007
1:31 am

before this, i had no idea i fell asleep
im seriously too dead tired
5 days straight of work can kill
especially 3 days of straight retail hour ohmy.

Sunday -

i think the kids on Sunday are relatively cuter (:
much more childlike and acting their age than those yesterday
i cant really remember all their names but there was one girl who asked me for my name cos her daddy wants to know
and this adorable girl who has a mouth that is perpetually pursed open
she has a sister learning art next door and they look like really close sisters (:
then, there's Rachel, whom i was quite shocked today cos she suddenly became very talkative
then i found out, she was only quiet last week cos her dad just scolded her for being too talkative. oooooh
very cute, but having too much to talk about haha

Remember the little boy Joash who painted the horse last week?
i took a photo of him this week

the try and act cool dont talk too much little fella
but is very independent and mix colours really well (:

Sunday classes mean having Ribbon on the last session! (:
and today, i met Aidan as well who's too cute to be true.

Ribbon / Aidan

the both of them are really the darlings of everyone, well at least to me
say things that a 4/5 year old would which makes no sense at all and cracks me up really badly

Ribbon came in a GJ tee, black fluffy skirt and those silver metallic shoes you see at Accessorize!
i must say her mom's the cutest mom in the world as well cos she came, dressed exactly like Ribbon, 'cept that her shoes are less bling and normal silver flats. AWWWWWWWWW.
and she bought Ribbon ice-cream again
too cute to be true. i cant wait to meet her dad or something

Aidan on the other hand is my sweetheart. i was the one teaching him today and he talks alot
i sat beside him and keyed everything funny he could possibly said into my phone hehe :D

"I have the little book of space. It shows me alot of space!" - on Ribbon drawing outerspace & aliens
"I want to colour the windows black cos they go and close the curtains" - on the windows he drew for his ship in the drawing
"My dog bite me. I throw the ball then my dog bite me. I have a tortoise but all my ants come and eat it up" - on his house pets
Aidan! where is your tooth!
"Oh, i play with my grandma bathtub then i bang and my tooth came out." - on his missing tooth
"Hahaha. I am so funny" - on something VERY RANDOMLY

"How come you dont want to take picture of me!" - him being very sensitive cos i kept sneaking photos of darling Ribbon
"My eye is dripping water but im not crying. Cos im exciting. I watching Mr Bean holiday later!" - on him catching a movie later with his family

HAHHAA. i laughed so much
I was outside at the tap washing the paint-brushes and he will run and stand behind me and pop his head at my side and say "BYEBYE!"
and draw an aeroplane and helicopter and a baby crocodile on a paper as a present for me! awwww.
for that, i forgive him for stealing away my camera and snapping alot of random but good photos! - future photographer (:

After work, i went to give thelifeshop a visit to make it more lively HAHA
meantime, caught the EcoLuxe runway show which was very boring
thankgod there's no work tmr!

didnt meet up, again, as usual. but i was half-wishing we didnt really mean it when we say, let's meetup! cos things are much simpler and better off this way.

PHOTOS from the Musical Fountain

i carry you in my heart dear. <3

Razzle // dAzzle

Sunday, Mar. 25, 2007
3:40 am

My Saturday consisted of Haroobee in the morning and Musical Fountain at night
jing ting xiu weren't there to teach today. omg im so sad ):
and tmr as well.
but nevermind, i met damn cute kids! hahhaha
i think im rather well with kids actually. i can handle the very trouble-matic ones even, like talk more and keep them busy kind of thing. whilst with the more independent ones, i just have another way with them
it's seriously a wonder im starting to like kids more la. omg haha

Anyway, after work, i went to meet my dearest friends at Vivo before making our way down to Sentosa via the express linkway - it rocks side to side on the track! omg

ive caught the musical fountain pretty much alot of times cos my dad used to work at Sentosa and it's like exactly the same as ive remembered it to be.

Singaporeans are crazily ill-mannered in a way
openly cutting queues, not like it matters to me so long as you dont bang me while trying to make your way past me or something la
and just cos the show is FREEEEE and the musical fountain is closing down on monday, the WHOLE SINGAPORE was there, running and scrambling for their lives to get a seat
yes, it's closing. so if you even read this post (like today), go catch it like THIS VERY INSTANT or something :/
but not very spectacular, i like the water parts though, not very amazed by the laserbeam lights - as usual

speaking about Singaporeans,
i was on the train to vivo today and the seat beside me had a brochure and everyone who walks past it just refuses to take up the brochure so they can have the seat
okay i admit i didnt choose that seat either
i find it ridiculous so i just took away the brochure and pretended to read it and indeed, someone walked past and sat down
damn weird.

before we went back to vivo, i suggested we take photos here
and it's quite embarrassing (or actually i couldnt care less) cos there are alot of people walking by haha
yeah so anyway, these are the 'cool photos' of the day. - some topic we touched on later at coffeebean over some whitechocolatedream

this one's evidence of not dancing for TOO DAMN LONG. my back started to ache after posing that for some time hahaha

okay byebye i had a great day
still have to teach tmr i better sleep! (:

Razzle // dAzzle

Saturday, Mar. 24, 2007
1:04 am

my last day at thelifeshop was FUN! (:
im so glad i at least bring along with me fun memories at the final day
and it was only fun cos all my favourite colleagues were there today
we had a MINI competition to see who can decorate the best table
so we chose, cleared out four tables and started picking random stuff in the shop to decorate it (OMG SO FUN!)

clockwise: mine/grace's/dovan's/zack's

*which one do you like? (:

Anyway, i really liked mine HEHE
it's supposed to be like a mini tea for two kind of thing
very temptation island setting if you ask me cos i really love the red/pink/white theme since there's quite alot of red/pink/white in the store anyway
flowers donning the side, a subdued heart at a corner and a quiet note

i think it's so obvious WHOM i decorated this for (haha)
Dovan said it would look damn good with food on it!

i really like the way grace used the candle holder as a setup for her cutlery, zack using table-runners to enhance the look of the chairs, dovan's composition to his setup (:
and i really like these 3 colleagues of mine
- 1 who's 2 years younger than me and calls me 'jiejie' or rather 'jhejhe' all the time. does bodywaves with me and talks to me all the time. buys food for me so i dont need to walk down and likes to 'Act' all the time hurhur
- 1 who's exactly twice my age and my business-associate-to-be. (currently doing consignments under his new company and i can paint to sell! woohoo). very out-going and fun to be with as well
- 1 who's 27, married, and totally doesnt act like her age or acts like she's married. the one who will nudge me when she sees a cute guy and then nudge me again when he steps in again and us finding out he's gay. then she giggles nonstop and say retarded stuff and laughs at herself HAHA.
i will miss them

no more forgetting to switch off lights and missing out on some of the switches, folding paper bags, smiling at nice customers, watching celebrities aka George Chan walking in and out everyday, learning the art of identifying gays cos rafflescity is flooded with them, staring at the clock watching time go by

Have i mentioned...
I BOUGHT MY FIRST BOX OF FACTORY DONUTS!
okay not very exciting haha, but it's still a first box
but all thanks to maurine (:
i found her in the queue so i got her to help me take my orders as well to treat the rest of the colleagues
thankyou so much girl!
i hope she likes the lollipop i bought to thank her for queueing - which took nearly 2 hours odd! i think. ohmygod

---

Some of 05A42 and Jingxiu

i got to webcam with my darling this morning whilst RUSHING to work cos i was gonna be late again
but it was a very lovely 5 min with him across the web
made up for the past 2 days cos we didnt get to talk much
i was so happy i decided to wear his yellowband for the day (:

Zack says, Reserved means you belong to someone. Sold means you've tied the knot. so i wrote K's name on thelifeshop reserved slips and placed it inside my purse HAHA
im too bored. i know

Haroobee tmr. (:

Razzle // dAzzle

Friday, Mar. 23, 2007
1:20 am

Thursday in short.
i had to wake up so early and im glad tmr's last day. no more such days of staring at the clock and waiting for the hands to spin faster
- JIEN popped by! (:
met some of the classmates
caught Stomp The Yard after that with Jingxiu at Cathay
i think i have already familiarised my way with walking from rafflescity to Cathay via SMU. wonderful man
movie was good, though i wasnt very comfortable at some parts cos of the style of dancing
long bus ride home with company this time round (:

GUESS WHAT I FOUND ON MY TABLE WHEN I GOT HOME!?

NEW WEBCAM NEW WEBCAM!

this one's quite pixelised though.
but, still.........!
and viv told me to pause so she could do that printscreen for her haha

jien asked if i was happy today, and i think i really am. as in, a sort of contented with life sort of feeling without having the need to shoulder anything cos i just wanna let everything go right at the moment. not think, and have some non-thinking time for myself

- LAST DAY of 1130-930 being bored
- i will like my Haroobee job
- probably try waitressing/clothing line in April
- join StudioWu in April
- applicationsssssss.

MY DARLING BOY,
now you can SEE ME! (:

Razzle // dAzzle

Wednesday, Mar. 21, 2007
11:29 pm

seriously, i have no idea how my colleagues survive at the shop everyday
people just filter in and out and there is no one to talk to/ anything productive to do

me:"why is thelifeshop called - thelifeshop?"
a:"i dont know leh"
me:there's so little people everyday, they should just call it thedeadshop or something. EH! omg quite cool right? next time i'll set up my own deadshop. i mean once people see the shop name, they'll enter it for sure. then i'll like buy coffins and place stuff inside and accessorise it or something and paint all the walls black..."

i still insist it's a damn cool idea ok! anyone who thinks it's cool say AYE

i think raffles city people are all rather stuck up, snobbish
Harvey Norman people who gives you the look like youre not fit to be there
and even the foodcourt drinks stall aunty. darn irritating
i was there getting drinks and the aunty thinks im stupid or something cos i asked bout the PRICE
some foreigner came and asked if they sell DECAF and she just kept pointing to the coffeemaking machine and say 'freshly brewed'. zzz
so i just turned to them and told them they might wanna try Starbucks and gave them directions and all
there was this other customer who came in and asked me where was the 'Raffles Hotel Gift Shop' and im like huhh
raffles city, yes. raffles hotel? gift shop?
i just told her im not too sure and she freaking ROLLED HER EYES at me and muttered something in (spanish?) and walked out.
and 2 ladies who came in and insisted on having their items bubble-wrapped and insisting on a box for them and told us to HURRY cos they said they will be late for work and they are ALREADY late.
how conveniently pushed the blame urgh

i have a primary school friend i lost touch with
she commented on my lj with this paragraph which i thought sounded so true

Razzle // dAzzle

Wednesday, Mar. 21, 2007
12:42 am

had quite a long and tiring tuesday
i think i only slept bout 5am in the morning, catching Amazing Race and CSI:NY and bumming infront of the computer
i forgot to cut my nails for piano lessons and i hate it when i forget to do so
it interrupts my playing and it doesnt help that im so tired

went to meet the PAINTBOX mates at Bugis later on so we can visit Shay together
i quite happily earned $51 cos she bought some stuff from me to sell
and we still couldnt bear to open our mouths to ask for the remaining of our pay

now i shall tell you my Pokka Iced Mocha story.
i love pokka iced mocha (*Hint)
so i wanted one to go along with my Honey Glazed Steak which is very yummy
i walked the ENTIRE cold storage and i couldnt find chilled ones and finally gave up to ask some cashier where it was
and fyi, if i can do/find something on my own, i wouldnt even ask someone for help
the cashier told me to look at the dairy products session and i told her ive looked already. she told me to wait, and i waited for damn long
i gave up and walked back to the dairy section to "look" again and also asked some random person selling fish and she dont know what im talking about cos she dont quite understand English
her colleague heard and went in and brought out PACKETS OF ICE for me.
sigh
i resorted to the more expensive nestle mocha at the foodcourt. so disappointing. all that trouble for some stupid can of drink

i also walked alot today. i shall take my wearing 3inch heels as an opportunity to train my tolerance or something
i dont want to elaborate on my route but i felt quite silly walking past Thai Express 3 times, back and forth a route of less than 50 metres nearly 4 times

i accompanied ting to shop
went down to SMU to watch steph dance later
i need to find classes start of April. i cannot take it anymore
waited half an hour for the bus which tooked forever
and took a very lonely bus ride home
i wish the person sitting beside me was someone else so i dont have to stare into my reflection and see the droplets of water morph into his face and imagining myself lying on his shoulder while leaning against the window pane

the good thing bout long bus rides though and living so very far away, is that you can sleep all you want and by the time you wake up, it's always just nice for you to get down
same for train rides

if need be,
be a critic of your reflection and not someone's portrayal

Razzle // dAzzle

Monday, Mar. 19, 2007
7:28 pm

pushed and left aside at a corner beneath the bed - a tissue box with crumpled pieces of soft layers in it.
the night i was crying, i forgot.
seems quite a while, im glad i disposed of it

should be getting my black mounts sometime this week
i need someone who knows how to speed up movement in videos. anyone?

i cant wait to get over this week so i can officially get to go out on a Wednesday Night
i forgot when was the last time i was actually so keen on going to a night event with such bright lights, blaring music and PSI reading of 400 according to Jing.
for now, Jing and i have a Saturday dinner to plan

things are supposedly getting better at home. more talking, less notes and post-its left on my table in the morning.
ive come to realise,
i will always be the first to start up a conversation before things turn back to normal
and for quite a neccessity favour at that - somewhat like 'no choice'
these are the things we do in life, of which we aren't exactly given a choice, but it's what marks the path in your life cos it has to go this way
as such, Ohana will always be forever
tight-knitted or not, still always the one who will stick by you cos blood is thicker than water

Razzle // dAzzle

Monday, Mar. 19, 2007
2:02 am

i had my first lesson at Studio Haroobee yesterday
the kids were very much adorable (:
and it helps that 3 of your favourite Artmates are there to work with you

A few kids i would like you to meet:

1. Ribbon

Yes, that is really her name. Ribbon came in a flowy long white dress from IslandShop(!) and has extremely huge eyes and is very nice to pose for all our cameras and draws her daddy too tiny to be seen. She keeps walking in and out to check if her Mummy is here and her Mummy came with ice-cream and said "Surprise for you Ribbon!". She later ran back in and said she left her apron behind. (:

2. Joash

He insisted that he draws a horse! so i held his hand so he could follow. His hand was following, but his head and eyes was looking at the girl beside him haha. His tiny booklet read: 'taught by an Artist before'. He paints very well, although there was one time i checked back on him and was so shocked to see 5 stems of brown and i said to him, "Joash! ohno! your horse has 5 legs! how?". The obedient boy overlapped green on brown for one 'stem'. One smart kid

3. (i cant really remember her name)

She was the girl sitting beside Joash and i was in between two of them. She wanted to draw Joash's horse but i was secretly trying to get her interested in another subject matter so i wont be helping two kids do the same thing. Insisted on having the beak of the peacock blue and i said, okay now we are gonna add in flowers, do you know how to add? and she went i know! i know!, took a brush, dab some white and displayed her skills

I roamed around for a while before going to Cine to meet Jan for dinner at pastamania
was in a totally changed and 'sian' mood at dinner and i had no appetite for once
i ate 3 bitefuls and couldnt go on any longer
i bought new shimmery flats ive always been wanting to get, caught up with janjan, updated each other about friends, junkfood tees loving, sitting beside the escalator and having a lady eavesdropping on us, loverboy called and asked jan for permission to talk to me haha, 502 bus-stop
BIGHUG, wave goodbye, see you again soon <3

thankyou girl, for tonight.

few nights ago, i had a sneak preview of Keith's room in Melb through the wonders of webcamming. My painting hung quite high up, many photos quite low, beside the bed-head. The audio was pretty loud so i can hear him and his friend (mainly his friend), crooning random songs in the background, him laughing like how i always remember him for, even the tiniest whispers and i'll be like i heard that haha. more sessions like these dear.
in the mission of replacing the webcam at home

miss you so

Razzle // dAzzle

Friday, Mar. 16, 2007
11:15 pm

work was surprisingly fun today (:
and i had a great day just indulging in mindless chatters with my colleagues
or maybe there was just stuff to do, and we are doing it TOGETHER - rearranging cushions / adding things to the showcases and teaching Zack the art of compositioning items / attempted ChaCha / Zack and I standing opposite each other at the entrance and doing bodywaves hand leg hand / folding more paper bags / talking bout "cruising" in the guys restroom / drawing layouts of our rooms / High Society music and so on

im officially leaving them next Friday so Friday's my last day
work's mundane there, but i'll miss the company i have there, which makes things less boring
i think they've been taking care of me very well actually, buying lunch for me, opening and squeezing chilli packets, talking to me cos they know im bored, very supportive of my interest in Art, offering slices of cake :D

kerx dropped by today without any warning (:
i think i'll be very happy if someone new drops by everyday to visit. haha!
i went to meet her at Outram after work so we could train home together
met jil + bf as well, so coincidental (:

on the way home, i was crossing a road and some random taxi pulled up, asking if i need a ride
it was so weird cos i was plugged in to my ipod and i was really sure i wasnt even the least bit flialing my arms about

i nearly forgot how much i dislike talking to people i dont know, especially guys
like if you're a friend's friend and i somehow know you, it's fine
but like if i dont know you, and everytime you sign on, the first thing you do is say hi, it's just DAMN WEIRD La
there's this person. i gave him my email cos i thought he was a good friend's friend and like he knows alot of my friends and initially i was quite happy to know that we have so many mutual friends
THEN i realise that some of the friends we referred to earlier on are like DIFFERENT PEOPLE with the SAME NAME
and i highly doubt he really knows nat cos he's already 21
so i stopped replying like really quickly (of which i tend to) or at times even ignore and pretend im away
and it's just really weird talking to people when youre suspecting they have more than just friendly intentions and they clearly know bout your relationship status.
i dont know why my "messaging-OFF to Strangers" system doesnt work in friendster
and with the removal of some photos, i start getting random messages and "so-and-so has sent you a smile!" which i find it rather disturbing cos it's like a tad bit pervertic of some sort HAHA

someone pls teach me more abbreviations to show that youre bored talking to someone other than 'oh i see', 'oh okay', 'yeah i know', 'ermmm okay'
some people are just strangely oblivious to tone :/

anywayyyyy i feel less sleepy tonight so i shall watch tv later on YAY
and i feel a little hyper today and slightly retarded

i think he seems happier in his messages these few days, less emo - which is good
cos im happy that he's happier so he doesnt need to put his studying brain to further stress
and im feeling slightly relaxed and not too tensed up bout this topic anymore, which is good.

Razzle // dAzzle

Friday, Mar. 16, 2007
3:50 am

i love having deep in-depth talks
just had one with ting.
it's like at a point of time, we'll be scared we are deviating from a certain point that kind of deep
and then i like to be retarded with her
we are pretty much retarded i must say

this is how life should be
learning how to appreciate and treasure it

Razzle // dAzzle

Thursday, Mar. 15, 2007
11:56 pm

on this special day, nothing really rather special happened actually
i went to work and was surprisingly on time at 930am
viv dropped by for a while
thankyou dear, for dropping by. (:

jing/steph

steph dropped by later and i went for my lunch/dinner break
we went to Clarity's for some food to fill my extremely hungry tum-tum
i had this huge chicken thigh thingy and there's potatoes everywhere
we cant finish potatoes!

steph's potato salad and her dory fish PLUS potatoes


monsters!

that's steph's fork in the center

i think someone isnt too happy im getting preferential treatment
but it's okay cos im leaving soon.

Razzle // dAzzle

Thursday, Mar. 15, 2007
1:16 am

i think i am tired
i find myself falling alseep halfway through work
today i came home and fell asleep before midnight
i mean seriously, i never fall asleep before midnight just like that
and then i wake up and stare at my computer with all the orange pop-ups and i feel upset i wasnt able to be there to answer them
she wanted help choosing courses, he probably wants to talk to me cos he misses talking to me, he probably wanted to cheer me up by sharing that he's watched 'music and lyrics' today
i think im probably a tad insane

the gay guy at work apparently still has the hots for Keith
i dont quite know if he's joking or not

him: how come your boyfriend doesnt come and visit you?
me: haha i thought i told you he's overseas before!
him: aiyo.. long distance relationships dont work out one lor, go and find another boy la
(deep down, im like wth?)
zack and i looked at each other
zack: you know what he's thinking of right?
me: haha yeah

*cos in this way, he can go after Keith haha. ridiculous la

(before parting)
him: see my boyfriend so nice, pick me up from work. Amelia you jealous right?
me: who says i am? haha

i believe in karma as well
today, i was so irritated on the train cos some people seated down are horrible people
they can look at an elderly in the eye and not let their seats up which is something i cannot stand
i had to give up my seat to an elderly across the carriage

whilst buying lunch,
this guy picked up a few notes i dropped on the ground unknowingly
and flashed me his super big wide smile when i said thankyou
small tiny things that means alot. remember?

jing came over to have dinner with me (:
thankyou girl!

and dear boy,
thanks for calling <3

dont expect too much. dont hope for too much. dont wish for too much. dont ask for too much. dont yearn for too much. dont let go too much. dont hide too much. dont put up a front too much. dont cry too much. dont hold back too much.
dont stop loving so much

today's a special day

Razzle // dAzzle

Wednesday, Mar. 14, 2007
4:51 am

i dont even know why im putting this up haha
but i just came across it while rummaging through my photo albums
- i miss the stage
- and i cant believe the guy who took this photo won some photography award thing haha!
i think he just titled it very nicely. it's called 'The Move'
and like my hands and legs are all blurred out so it seems as if im stilled in a moving action
im making sense right!

okay goodnight

Razzle // dAzzle

Wednesday, Mar. 14, 2007
3:00 am

(13th March)
had piano lessons in the noon before rushing down to bugis to pass Shay some stuff
today's rain was erratic (as Yinkae would put it)
like it rains and stops and rains again
i ran in the rain today.

and i think im too used to having meals on my own
i used to feel sympathatic towards people who have meals on their own outside but im starting to think it isnt so bad
plug in your earpiece, listen to music, have a meal
im just seriously used to it
i think maybe i kind of treasure meals with others

i went to meet Yinkae and we went down to Mediacorp together
she had tickets for 2 for Mosh Pit standings for the recording of Dancefloor Disco Round (:
we got there so early there weren't anyone and we even got to see Fantastic 4 rehearse their dance

the empty stage

Fantastic Four

Melvin and Sharon's Fans were CRAZY i tell you. very VERY loud!

spot your FAVourite dancers

steph came to join us as well!
and jil and char were there downstairs as well, which came as quite of a surprise
it was indeed quite an experience
to be watching the dancers at such close proximity you can probably seive out all their mistakes

i went to have supper with char and jil after the recording ended at KAP
they think im too busy being emo, char and i think jil's weird cos she talks to her boyfriend in front of us, jil and i cant quite imagine char being a future VJ haha
took a bus-ride home with jil although it was a longer route home
i think i just crave for some company for the time being
before getting down the bus, i woke up a man in blue midtwenties cos he was so sound asleep
i thought doing a kind act would make me happier but i seriously felt nothing
took a feeder bus back from the interchange and the bus-driver missed my stop and pretended not to know, which is really annoying
i dont know why nobody in the bus complained cos someone obviously pressed the bell
so i walked quite a bit home and the roads were surprisingly empty
i decided to walk in the middle of the roads with my ipod turned on and pray i dont get knocked down or something
and i really didnt haha.
okay i played cheat. i turned back a few times to see if there were any vehicles haha
i wanna lie in the middle of the road one day hurhur

thankyou yinkae for the tickets and today (:
it was lovely hanging out with you finally for the first time!
and im so happy Damien's coming home for you on thursday! the last 3 weeks must have been hard on you girl.
haha looking at you so happy makes me happy as well (:

jing says im just being confused and i think it might be true
my entire conversation with her was filled with i-dont-know's
like halfway through, i seriously dont even know what im trying to say and what point im trying to drive at
or maybe i just havent been through this
am i still supposed to expect anything?
can i still do this? can i still do that?
im such an amateur regarding stuff like that

i need to dance. i think dance lifts my mind off things
i need to indulge in vodka-based drinks
ngiap! one wed after i quit my job okay
get viv and steph and yinkae and whoever along as well (:

i think i just need to have one long crazy night just to drink too much, laugh too much, dance too much
i just need to la

I DONT KNOW.

Razzle // dAzzle

Tuesday, Mar. 13, 2007
12:34 am

i have this gay friend at work
another one. but im fine with that
it's kinda weird to call him a friend cos he's twice my age
the 3 of us spent the day chatting bout everything under the sun whilst at work cos 'bigboss' wasnt around
i didnt know he was interested in Art (:
i mean, pardon me, but i find it extremely interesting and refreshing to talk to someone who is passionate about Art like you
he used to be a florist doing floral arrangements for wedding events and ive gotta say he's really good cos he showed me his portfolios
he resigned from the company due to some complications already (apparently his boyfriend and him resigned together cos they weren't happy with the management)
so he'll be gone at the end of the month
and also currently helping clients furnish their houses
in a way or another, he's made me a guarantor if he needs any canvas paintings done or any walls done
first step to Art-ing Career (:

thank you jon for going through that trouble to download the song for me (:

thankyou for letting me know what's on your mind
i guess time will tell
but in the meantime, smile and be happy
i hope this, will in a way make you happier

and by the way,
i meant every word i said dear
especially the line before we exchanged goodnights

Razzle // dAzzle

Monday, Mar. 12, 2007
12:46 am

(11th March)
i had an extremely long and tiring day
15 hours on heels make the balls of your feet sore

well, i slept at 5am woke up at 730am so we could go to a temple to prayyy
ohgosh kill me.
i need sleep, im sleeping after this.
then we took one huge amazing race just to get BREAKFAST, somewhere i dont know where
dad sent me to Esplanade after that and i finally applied for a job at Studio Haroobee.
YAY. cant wait to teach the little kiddos! (:

went down to support Steph and PURIFY at Danceworks later on
Reza and Corinne were late!
and Co was DAMN late.
but Reza and i thought last year's was more competitive
this year had obvious groups that were much stronger

anyway, fast foward fast forward..
PURIFY CAME IN FIRST FOR PRELIMINARIES B! (:
i already expected it, but im really glad for them, especially for Steph, considering it's her 1st Danceworks!

anyway girl, i made Video Stills for you guys. get it from me.
and i cant load the video onto youtube cos it exceeded the maximum limit wts

im not even participating and i feel so damn excited and nervous for them
all the pleasepleasepleaseletthemwin

i sure as hell miss dance
i cannot stand it that im not doing anything, taking any classes or like basically doing anything to get my dance life back
i think im starting to feel how steph was feeling before she started Danceworks prac with the rest of them
when i feel sad these few days, thankgod youtube is there to provide me with dance videos
cheering my heart out for them today and being in the midst of a dance competition just hit the jackpot i guess
i miss dance like shit!
and i seriously need to do something about it
probably quit my current job and take dance classes or something HURHUR

i went down to Cathay to meet the poofs for Music&lyrics
i love the movie <3
and i need soundtracks!

dinner at MarketPlace City Hall with jan as well
it's good to finally have dinner with everyone

i think retail therapy helped a little to curb the aching heart
and i really need a break from all that mind-boggling politics
like temporarily hide them in a corner, compose myself to face them better

Next on Checklist:
- bagcharms for Shay + blingblings
- develop photos of baby and i
- get my portfolio black mounts
- REVIVE DANCE.

Razzle // dAzzle

Sunday, Mar. 11, 2007
3:32 am

i just caught How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days for the millionth time
in my personal opinion, i dont quite consider this a ChickFlick
although it does resemble how any other ChickFlick would, the girl ends up falling for the guy and all
there's just something i love about this show - in an extremely weird way
not to mention, Kate Hudson is amazingly gorgeous in the film.

don't tell your girl she's Hot.
tell her she's Beautiful

i think i miss you quite terribly
your message today brought tears to my eyes

i think i miss you terribly so

(edit) you just called. right after i posted this.
im really happy for you dear. sorry i always make you feel bad just cos i cannot help it.
i'll wait here. stand by you, guide you. fast forward to June please (/edit)

Razzle // dAzzle

Sunday, Mar. 11, 2007
12:00 am

midnight to the dot yo!
pardon the extreme hype, sorry. im actually pretty much worn out.

i had a really happy day
i woke up LATE. hence, was LATE for work. so i called up and told them i had a 'fever'. well done man
but i figured it was a blessing in disguise
i managed to go down for the NTU Open House (:

REASONS WHY I SHOULD GO TO NTU.
1. i take 15 minutes to get there
2. i have a direct bus from home
3. i dont need to pay for hostel fees cos i live too near
4. my mom WORKS there so she can drive me there in the morning
5. the ADM building is lovely and new, and i quite like it

i hope more people get into NTU or something, so at least i get to see more familiar faces around my hometown (of which ive heard some term it as a no man's land which is pretty sad haha)
today was like never before
i saw so many familiar faces at Jurong Point i thought i was like in Orchard Road or something

Anyway i pulled on my very lovely Little Miss Sunshine tee and stepped into the sunshine (wahlao how cheesy can i get)
and i went down to NTU's Open House to meet Kerx (:
we spent nearly the entire afternoon there, walking around, listening to talks, visiting the very lovely ADM campus, getting ourselves *FREE* Art Friend membership, goodie bags, and i bought $8 shorts at the flea stores
happy girl i am

went down to JP after that and caught up a lil with weiyun before going home to dump all my stuff and proceeding to Charmaine's place for her party

She turned 13 this year.
i feel so OLD all of a sudden.

i think i wanted to relieve my childhood and feel young again.

---

Im going down to support STEPH and PURIFY at Danceworks 2007 tmr! (:
and hopefully FINALLY make my way down to Haroobee Studio
i have a long checklist of stuff to do

Happy Birthday J

Razzle // dAzzle

Saturday, Mar. 10, 2007
1:28 am

"Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have."

Razzle // dAzzle

Friday, Mar. 09, 2007
5:16 pm

nobody sees the tears you shed
nobody hears the choking sounds you can't stand
nobody there to feel you vulnerable
i like it this way

i think im in love with John Mayer
he provides a sense of calmness in his voice and his lyrics never fail to amaze me at times

co sent me this a few nights ago, and i think it applies too well. this one's from Avril Lavigne

You're not alone Together we stand I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand When it gets cold And it feels like the end
There's no place to go You know I won't give in No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you

i miss the movies
i wanna catch '23' and 'music&lyrics'

Razzle // dAzzle

Thursday, Mar. 08, 2007
11:53 pm

shitass tired today
i felt so faint in the morning i nearly wanted to die
serious lack of sleep. thankgod i have the day off TMR! which im of course gonna put it to good cause and cramp all the things i need to do in one day. yay

i woke up late today and spent a freaking $17.40 just to get to work cos Zack told me yesterday that the guy i havent met yet at work is quite scary
then i realised he's quite nice and they were even shocked at why i didnt just call them to tell them im gonna be late.
wasted my money ):

anyway i felt better in the afternoon
and helped Selina Tan from I Not Stupid with her bags of stuff down to her car
and spent my afternoon with Allen telling me all about sleeping early and being very health-conscious
with Dovan who is 38 and AJ (as they spells her name in the booklet) who doesnt want to stay at home cos she says it's damn sian. it's Aunty Jane by the way and she's over 50 i think

the word 'need' can refer to mentally needing as well, not just presence i think
i hope it was what you were trying to put across to me dear
and cheer up my dear platinum boy
*BIG HUG.

friends family life -
they make up a complicated issue
it gets tiring trying to understand point-of-views and everything else
at least, i've placed myself in their shoes, wouldnt wanna walk in them

Razzle // dAzzle

Thursday, Mar. 08, 2007
1:04 am

my Wednesday was relatively Lovely (with a capital L) (:
work was less boring cos of funny colleagues with much too pretty eyelashes
after which i got a phonecall from baby, and then there was all the hype of running to a corner to pick up his call and scream too many OHMYGOD's into the phone and pestering Zack to keep a lookout for my manager. haha

but most of all,
this boy made my day. (:

that was his BIG SMILE for me
you're too cute. i cant stand you! haha

i seriously think we're the odd-est couple you'll ever see around
but only we know why
the way TOO much, But very appreciated honesty and the bestfriend/boyfriend debate
i want that last 1% too okay! haha

loverboy

CORINNE'S BIRTHDAY PHOTOS

Razzle // dAzzle

Wednesday, Mar. 07, 2007
4:13 am

look at the time please
someone out there please pray i wake up in time for work tmr

6thMarch07..
CORINNE TURNS 19!

well, yes.
so the others gathered at my place in the morning to do last minute preparations
i even had to leave them in my room when my piano teacher came over to give me lessons
rushed down to vivo after that in a flurry

we had dinner at Marche and went to ToysRus in the hopes of getting a helium balloon but they dont have helium pump
so we decied to get party hats but they turned out to be a happy birthday banner instead, how amusing
anyway, we did this MENU thing for the birthday girl filled with all her gross photos with enticing 'dishes' and photos of all her eye-candies
(pst, i know which one you LOVE and ADORE the best la. TEEHEEHEE)

this is her.
i seriously cant remember why she had that expression

anyway, corinne was so slow.
we placed the MENU above her seat and she didnt even realised all the way until we got our food and came back and half way through eating, the MENU fell on her. THEN, she realised haha
not to forget the (quote,unquote,char) dildo-looking-balloon that had our notes on it

we talked about falling wombs and pregnancy and all that shit-scary stuff after dinner. i admit that im always very freaked out by the topic of getting pregnant. cos everything just seems scary la!
we even talked bout that crazy fella from 2036 who told everyone he took a time-machine back to our era at 2007 and says 2008 olympic wont happen and in 2010 there will be world war 3 and there will be mutated people ruling the world. OMG.

okay, so that was after-dinner conversations
they employed me the 'actress for the day' and i seriously suck at it
so co and i went shopping and the rest did whatever they need to do
i swear the Haagen Daz girl could've slapped me on the spot. but i really dont care
and seriously, my mind was in a blank when jil ask me to 'just bring her up there, say you want to take photos!' and having co complain her feet hurts and half-knowing we are actually already planning something

okay. apart from girl who's on the verge of slapping me, i managed to get her to her cake anyway haha (:

popped champagne, eating cake with too much cream in the midst of candle-lights
"wahhh. how romantic!" hurhur
(anyway, keith if you're reading this, they actually suggested me to bring you there next time haha)

we watched char and xw act like witches in a trance playing with melted candle wax
and took really spastic photos

Artsy shots - i like

i went to meet my uncle and aunt later for Supper
we went to this really posh eatery beside St James Power Station to have prata
and the freaking mineral water there costed $4.50. MYGOD.
i chatted with them for 'bout 3 odd hours
and basically in short, there's alot of problems going on in my family right now
to extract some parts of my teary-conversations with them,
"everyone thought you were a really bright girl, you would have a great future. cos all along, your results were great. you just gotta give them some time to accept your results for now."
"i only want to get to one university, one course - ADM. even if i get like AAA, i will STILL only want to get to one university, one course - ADM. if i dont get in, i will still go to Laselle or NAFA"
"Amelia, i think it's a blessing in disguise, your results"

and that's just about a fraction of what we've talked about

i really appreciate what my aunt and uncle is doing for me. taking time out for me. i dont know what i'll do without them seriously

baby called when i was with them.
sorry dear, i couldnt really talk much, i hope you understand
my webcam's spoilt AGAIN.
he says until i get it fixed, i cant get to see him so it'll be fair
but still, i got to see 5seconds of his face today. MMHMM (:

sigh.

Razzle // dAzzle

Tuesday, Mar. 06, 2007
3:48 am

mom's been a bitch. im sorry to tell you that it's true
it just doesnt get worse
life-controlling machine just when i hit 19 cos i never sufficed her with my 'i-know-what-im-doing' theory
when she scolds/screams, she lumps one year's worth of rubbish into her screamings
i got screamed at cos i got a job with flexible hours so i can freaking fit my piano lessons and personal life into it, but hell yeah, she doesnt get it
"what kind of job is this! work 2 days rest 2 days"
it's part-time. D-UH!

freaking bad day yesterday
tear-stains streak the blues on my top
i cried over matters worth crying over. cried over matters not worth crying over cos im just too pissed off.
i wish i wasnt born with so many tear glands

Razzle // dAzzle

Monday, Mar. 05, 2007
3:11am

2nd March -

i wore new purple heels to console myself. i was so excited i didnt even tear off the plastic sheet covering the sole.
BILLYBOMBERS was the BOMB. seriously
i need to go manhattan fish market to try out their seafood platter.
HINT*vivian*HINT

4th March -

i had dinner with vivian after work
2nd day of work was far more interesting
i swept the floor and found a dead cockroach HAHAHA
and i got to finally speak to my malay colleague who gave me wrong change the other time i was there to get a card
he's one funny guy and very nice to talk to
he told me alot of things and i was especially amazed and shocked at one line

"oh you know that day you came in, A.(the gay guy) thought your boyfriend was cute la. and he come and tell me, 'i wanna f*** that girl's boyfriend so badly'"

if you choked on that, i dont blame you haha
the worse was, he actually didnt think any of my gay friends on friendster passed the mark for him
and *gulps*, my boy actually did
omgomgomg. interesting. haha
i should be worried as a matter of fact, lest he goes after keith
thankgod baby's in aus

parents popped by after career fair
viv came to visit (:

we had dinner at NewYorkNewYork after i ended work and ate too much, as usual
the staff there apparently loves taking photos for their customers
he was like: 'can i help you take a photo?' like all of a sudden
and he came back and said: 'do you need me to take a photo using your handphone?'
wow
service sucks, but they sure as hell know how to take photos.

i shall end with my favourite photo of the day with the girl i absolutely adore <3

Razzle // dAzzle

Sunday, Mar. 04, 2007
6:39 am

hi. this is me waking up at 6:16am all of a sudden and nearly going a tad bit insane, flipping over blankets and groping around my bed just to find my phone in the dark in the middle of the night
i found it. one metre away from my bed on the table, with one missed call from the boy at 1:45am
my heart sank.
although he did call me before i went to bed, like he could read my mind somehow, and even though i told him i might not be able to pick up his call after his casino trip cos im sleeping
im just ranting, nevermind me

have i mentioned how boring yesterday was? first day at work
they thought i would be happier without anything to do which was so bad considering im a workaholic
but i made friends with some of the colleagues there
and im suspecting there's one guy who's gay, whom keith and i thought was pretty cute that time we were there for my interview and they hired me on the spot
pay sucks though, i'll probably be there for a month or so only
i met koonann very surprisingly with his grandma and wished his grandma 'happy birthday'
and a few art juniors from sa who were there to research for their coursework
a few very stuck-up customers complaining the price was too expensive
and chenhanwei (whom i believe is a regular)
oh. one of the colleagues asked if i looked Eurasian, very unbelievably

i really shouldnt still be as concerned as ever.
ive never felt so relieved to erase every chunk of memory from my phone
i now know where my heart stands

back to get a few more hours of sleep
hopefully, second day would be less boring, thanks

Razzle // dAzzle

Saturday, Mar. 03, 2007
2:51 am

i know it's late. i'm kinda weary
if you want to know 'bout results, i did very badly
but im fine.
i dont know if i can say, i kind of expected it, but yeah, i think i did. kind of.
i didnt cry too much, or maybe i just feel very indifferent about this
but i cant believe i got a B for Art!
no, not like - cant believe cos i didnt expected it, more like - cant believe i didnt get an A
only a Merit as well for S paper
extremely upsetting, just cos it's the only thing i have been banking on, and just cos it's the only pathetic subject i did okay in.

my aunt weathered the huge downpour to pick me up from school today
thankgod for her, really
i believe she's the one person who can talk the most sense into me
for the past few years of my life, it's always been her - there talking sense into me
and im really appreciative of that
i love my aunt

to everyone else who stopped by to console that forlorn face of mine, leaning against a door on a huge red mat - thanks
im alright, i know where im heading to now at least

i think the most ironic thing is - i think im unbelievable
cos despite my extremely terrible results, all i can think of is calling my friends to make sure they're okay and spend time comforting some
im really proud of them. every single one of them.
i think it's a pretty good feeling as well, or rather it made me happy, to feel happy for my friends
in a really genuine way, not even the least bit cynical i swear

i got home, took a 30min breather before going out to meet viv for dinner at Clarke Quay
we had BILLY BOMBERS omg.
cheese fries, roast chicken, cookies and cream milkshake, ben&jerry's icecream
plus bags we splurged on cos we just feel like splurging and making ourselves happy on this very whiny day
we sat along the steps beside the river (not to mention the exact spot keith and i sat at the other time) cos it's the only dry available spot and chatted to our hearts content
viv i really love you
you're probably by far the only person i can fully let my whole guard down to and talk to like as if im talking to myself without knowing someone's beside to hear my thoughts
thankyou for today dearest.
after nearly a 4 months break of not seeing each other man
4 MONTHS! OHMYGOODNESS.

i have to keep reminding myself that i have work tmr and i must remember to plaster a smile

and i believe i'll survive through this ordeal - or whatever you call it
although i wish you were here

Razzle // dAzzle

Thursday, Mar. 01, 2007
7:42 pm

(i think) it was raining the entire day today
cos the weather was too nice to sleep in
i officially woke up at 620pm which is very VERY bad, although i only slept at 5+am cos i wanted to say goodmorning to the boy
and sadly, alot of ppl called and i bet all they received is my very sleepy voice
including my mom, celena calling for recruitexpress and the guy whom i applied a job for
he was like 'are you sleeping?' after asking if i was free on saturday and he hasnt called back since! OMG. diediedie!

and the paperwork is piling up like crazy cos the stupid deadline is nearing and all the lastminute authors are sending in everything like only now, which is ridiculous la i tell you

i miss my boy very much ):
although he makes me very comforted to say that 'we have been coping well'
and my mom said - no matter what the results, PLEASE COME HOME. (haha)
she knows i like to roam around outside if im sad

HOW NOW BROWN COW! ):

Razzle // dAzzle

Thursday, Mar. 01, 2007
1:56 am

28th February -

Notes on a Scandal was good!
the three of us caught it on a rainy day and had lunch at hongkong cafe before
we went to NYdC later to 'chill' as xw calls it haha
and had elephanchinos and the bony cake after running across from cine in the rain
wow, running in the rain! i havent done that in a while
which reminds me, i ran home in the rain as well. wonderful!

i bought new PURPLE heels YAY (:
have been eye-ing that a month ago, i guess it's high time i got it.

made my way to vivocity after that to meet liz after her work at RiverIsland
and dropped by there to look at the products there for the first time and to hug xiu too (:

liz and i went to walk around later around all the various clothing line they have at vivo before deciding to stop at BK for a bite where i saw REZA (who's still as crazy as before) - hamster cheeks!

anyway, liz's necklace was so reflective it kept shining in my face!
and all the time we were talking, i was playing with the chilli
i wrote keith's name on the chilli spread using a straw until the paper sheet tore AHHAHAA
but im glad liz and i had a great catch-up session (:

i wanted to drop by ZARA later cos we havent been there to look-see look-see before BK dinner
and we went crazy in the fitting room, photo-whoring all the way
i seriously think this is what girls indulge in man HAHA

bought the grey one HEHEE. it has a really nice neckline and flutter sleeves
and i really like the first blue dress although i think i took the wrong size cos there is no size tag on it! the rest were all M

we took the majority of our photos in the dressing room. hahahha
if not i wouldnt have mood for any photos these days. urgh
thanks liz for the mini catchup (ketchup) session! (:

didnt get to talk much with the boy today across the phone cos he has lessons 9am tmr aussie time
and ive been getting very paranoid of my phone ever since he left
cos i keep getting the feeling it might ring anytime and it might be him anytime.
absolute paranoia i tell you haha

HELLO MARCH!
and happy birthday to all those born on 29th feb! cos i know of a few

Razzle // dAzzle